Staff
Bios:
Pastor/Speaker
Who would win in a cage match between Chris and Daniel?
I know you’re thinking Chris, but what you don't realize is how mean and angry Daniel is and how much he hates Chris. I think it would ultimately come down to who is the referee and what kind of match it is. In a straight street fight or cage fight Daniel wins quickly, but in a straight forward wrestling match Chris' technical abilities would win out and he would defeat Daniel with a cobra clutch into a boston crab.
If you could trade places with an 80s rockstar for one day in your life, who would it be?
There are so many possibilities here; I could choose Bon Jovi for his film career, or Vince Neil for his golden locks or the one armed drummer from Def Leppard but then I would have one arm so... I think I would actually choose Kip Winger from the band Winger honestly because I have always wondered what it would be like to be named Kip!
Who is you archenemy, and what superpower would you use to destroy them?
It’s hard to narrow my archenemies down to one--I have so many--but I would have to say Kyle Idleman and Blossom Russo from the show Blossom. To destroy Kyle I would use a mixture of shapeshifting, concussion beams and I would mess up his hair; and for Blossom I would make her listen to Joey Lawerence sing.
Is it ever appropriate to wear a kilt?
Only if you are also wearing a vest, cumberbun, bow tie and socks pulled up to your knees and you are very cautious in strong winds.
Community Groups Leader
Out of all your co-workers, who would you most likely vote for in a presidential race?
Let me answer your question with a question. Who would look best on the side of a coin? You’re probably thinking Ben Hardman, but you’re wrong. Only Daniel Dabney’s face could possibly fit on a coin...because it’s tiny.
What color is your soul?
It’s a little complicated because I can never get my soul to match my pants. When I wear black pants it’s brown, but when I wear brown pants it’s black. I usually just settle for wearing jeans and I think to my soul,”I hope you’re happy now soul, because of you we can never go out to eat at nice places like Red Lobster!”
Who’s your favorite child actor from the 90s?
I would have to say Sabastian Cabot who played Mr. French, the formal yet fun loving butler from the hit 1960’s T.V. Show Family Affair. Many people aren’t aware that while Sabastian was a young man he worked as a chef (which helped precipitate his growth to 260 pounds) and he also spent three years as a professional wrestler in London before World War II. I hope that Mr. French wasn’t his wrestling name! I also care for Scott Baio a great deal.
What’s your favorite yoga stance/dance move (you choose)?
My favorite Yoga stance was founded by Neneh Cherry. It’s called the Buffalo stance and it is surprisingly hard!
Worship Leader
What would your pro-wrestling name be?
Webster
Is time travel possible?
That’s ridiculous...yes, of course it is. Just ask Mike Fox. And hover boards are possible too. If anyone ever wants to talk more about this with me over coffee, I have a coffee I drink that’s from the 29th century.
What’s your favorite memory with Jordan Paskitti?
Every day with Jordan is a wonderful memory. But one time, when Tim Hughes and his band came to town, Jordan was struggling to hold a conversation with their drummer because of his thick, English accent. Jordan could not understand anything he was saying, and began to panic. It got very funny for me when I heard the drummer ask Jordan who some of his favorite drummers are, and Jordan answered “Yes.”
If you were competing in the Olympics, what would be your event?
Well, I would travel into the future in my time machine, get the new Nike track shoes from the year 2477, and then come back and dominate the 40-yard dash. And I’d probably want to oversee ticket sales as well.
Production Director
If you had to label your co-workers as characters from The Office, who would they be?
Ben would definitely be Jim. He’s pretty laid back and jokes around most of the time, but serious when he needs (has) to be. Daniel is Michael Scott through and through because he is full of quotable “one-liners”. Amy is Pam by far. She pretty much holds the office together and keeps our spirits up. Chris is a mix. He has the mannerisms of Kevin, the intensity of Dwight, but every now and then I see a little Creed in him – that’s when I like to leave the room.
What’s your favorite memory with Daniel Dabney?
I watched the 2006 Gator Bowl with Daniel and played a joke on him claiming there was a penalty on a pivotal play. He slapped me in the face...hard. That was the last UofL game I watched with Daniel – he’s serious about his UofL sports.
What’s the best way to iron a shirt?
Well, my wife has asked me to steer clear from any hot metal objects since I gave our floor the infamous “charred finish”. Sometimes I’ll throw it in the dryer for a few minutes. But the anti-wrinkle spray and me have become best buds.
On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your favorite smoked meat?
I can’t say I have a favorite smoked meat. So, 2 out of 10. What?
Administrative Assistant